Heather Smyth
03-09-2008, 09:10 AM
Title: The Dichotomy of the Heart
Author: Heather Smyth
Series: TNG
Part: 5/?
Rating: NC17
Code: P/C
Disclaimer and Summary...see part one.
*Dear readers, I will not be posting next Sunday. On Suday morning I will
board a plane to make a 20 hour flight to New York City to see Patrick
Stewart perform in Macbeth. My next post will be on Suday the 30th.
Breakfast next morning was uncomfortable. Despite Jean-Luc
and Beverly's attempts at bringing Tobias into their conversation, he
remained silent and sullen. The only good thing was that he appeared to have
no recollection of the previous night's interruption and the adults breathed
a collective sigh of relief.
With time on his hands, Jean-Luc decided to take his son back to the Star
base while Beverly opted to spend the morning updating her current research.
They agreed to meet later for lunch. The engineers arrived to start work on
Tobias' rooms, assuring Beverly they wouldn't bother her.
Deeply involved in the information on her computer, Beverly frowned when the
door chimed. Not wishing to be disturbed, she lifted her head and asked,
"Computer who is at the door?"
"Counsellor Deanna Troi."
With a warm smile, Beverly called softly,
"Come in."
Deanna entered and grinned at her best friend.
"Working?"
The Doctor shrugged.
"Sort of, I wanted to get some updates.I'm meeting the Captain and Tobias
later for lunch."
The Counsellor pointed to the replicator.
"Can you spare me ten minutes?"
Beverly smiled, nodding her agreement.
"Of course."
Casting a look at Tobias' room, Beverly was pleased to see the engineers
were working behind closed doors.
While Deanna secured two hot drinks, Beverly went to the sofa and sat,
stretching her long legs and placing her feet on the coffee table. When
Deanna joined her, the younger woman snickered.
"I bet you don't do that when the Captain's here."
The Doctor snorted.
"I do so!" Her face showing her outrage at the suggestion she should behave
a certain way for her lover. Then she relented and allowed a rueful grin.
"Well actually he does like me to take my shoes off first.but he never says
anything either way."
There was a comfortable silence while the women sipped their drinks. Deanna
set her mug down and flicked her hair off her shoulders.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Beverly frowned and feigned ignorance.
"About what?"
With a wave of her hand dismissing her friend's attempts at innocence,
Deanna scowled.
"You know damn well what. You and the Captain. Look I've known for some time
that your relationship with him had changed.I sensed it in both of
you.despite the efforts to shut me out. But Beverly you didn't even tell me
when you moved in with him. I had to find out by asking the computer for an
update on crew accommodations. I thought we were closer than that."
Beverly closed her eyes and sighed, rubbing her face with her hands. She
gathered her thoughts and lifted her head to face her friend.
"It was a mutual decision Dee. We were so.scared, no maybe not scared
exactly, but unsure certainly. Not about what we'd done, but about
ourselves. We're both very set in our ways and quite stubborn.we just needed
time, time to see how it fitted. This step we've taken is huge Dee and also
deliciously.exciting. When he asked me to move in with him I was shocked and
I wondered if he truly realised what he was asking, but, as usual, he
surprised me. He's proved he's adaptable Dee, although I know at times he's
fighting himself over the disruption to his life, but he's constantly
proving to me he loves me enough to overcome his habits and his hermit-like
existence to let me in, not only into his life, but into his heart."
Deanna nodded pensively and placed her hands between her knees,
straightening her arms.
"So not only did you desire privacy, you wanted time to settle in."
Beverly nodded.
"Uh huh. We always intended to tell you and Will, in fact all of the Command
staff, but.just for a little while.we wanted time to ourselves."
Deanna grinned and tilted her head.
"Fair enough. So tell me.how is it? What's he like to live with?"
Beverly sat back and rested her head on the cushions.
"Well.there were some rough edges to smooth out.but all in all it's very
comfortable. The thing is we're so happy in each other's company.we don't
need to chat or feel the need to amuse each other, in fact we sometimes sit
in complete silence for hours simply at ease with each other. We listen to
music or read, then there are other times when we'll have a lively debate
about something, but you know my very favourite part?"
Deanna's eyes sparkled as she shook her head, her curls dancing on her
shoulders.
Beverly sighed wistfully, her face becoming dreamy.
"Waking up with him. I've wanted to do that for so long."
Deanna gasped and poked her friend in the arm.
"You old tart! You never told me that! You said you'd wondered what he might
be like in bed but you never said anything about waking up with him."
Beverly snorted and flapped her hand.
"Oh really Dee.can you honestly say that I was considering a one night
stand? Come on.you know him as well as me. He isn't into casual affairs.if
he gives himself it's everything. It was never going to be anything but the
whole kit and caboodle."
Deanna sighed.
"That's so romantic."
The Doctor grinned.
"Tell me about it! I get flowers.little gifts, he's very attentive."
Deanna's expression turned lascivious.
"And the sex?"
Beverly feigned shock.
"Dee!"
The Counsellor scowled.
"Oh come off it Beverly.give!"
The Doctor grinned widely.
"Let me just say that our Captain has consummate abilities in many
things.including matters erotic and passionate."
"Oh my! Lucky you, although I'm not surprised. A man with so much passion
was always going to be good in bed, but does it take much to stir him?"
Beverly giggled.
"I think you'd be surprised at how little it takes."
Deanna's eyebrows rose.
"Really? I would've thought he'd be more.controlled.more reserved."
Beverly shrugged.
"I thought so too, but once we took that step.my God it was like letting
loose a cyclone. All that repressed sexual tension.wow!"
Deanna giggled and patted her friend's knee.
"Well I'm very happy for you both."
The two women shared a companionable grin before Deanna sighed and sobered.
"Tell me.what was your first night with Tobias like?"
Beverly immediately reddened and Deanna sensed her embarrassment.
"Beverly? What is it?"
The red head sighed and shook her head.
"Oh God Dee.Tobias walked in on us having sex."
Deanna's gasp made Beverly wince.
"Oh my God.what did the Captain do?"
Beverly shrugged.
"He reacted predictably I suppose. He was mortified of course.and angry, but
it wasn't as bad as it might have been. Tobias was sleepwalking. He didn't
see or hear anything."
"So what happened?"
"Jean-Luc put him back to bed."
Deanna stifled a giggle, earning a glare from her friend.
"How was breakfast this morning?"
Beverly sighed expansively.
"Brittle, but once we realised Tobias didn't remember anything about last
night the tension eased a bit. The thing is with his continued silent
routine it's so hard.Jean-Luc's trying.we both are, but it's like we're
beating our heads against a brick wall."
Deanna nodded her understanding.
"I know.give it time.and be patient. Eventually you'll break through."
Deanna stood and stretched.
"Well I'm off to meet Will. I'll come by after dinner tonight to see how you're
all getting on."
Beverly stood and smiled warmly at her friend.
"Okay, thanks Dee."
After the Counsellor left, Beverly sighed and looked over to her computer.
"Better get back to it."
Ten minutes later she was once again immersed.
Jean-Luc closed his eyes briefly and ran his hand
over his head. Silently counting to ten in six languages, he calmed himself
and tried again. Keeping his voice soft and his tone reasonable, he said in
French,
"Tobias if you don't tell me what you'd prefer I will have no option but to
choose the programme myself and I don't want to do that. I would like to try
something you'd like. Surely you're bored with my selections by now?"
The boy remained mute, staring fixedly at the floor. Jean-Luc raised his
head and glared at the ceiling, racking his brains for a solution to the
problem. Suddenly he had an epiphany.
"Ah! If I'm not mistaken you've got a birthday coming up. Why don't we go
back to the commerce centre and find you a suitable present?"
When the boy didn't move, Jean-Luc gently gripped his shoulder. Tobias
wrenched free from the Captain's grasp and glared at his father. Jean-Luc
kept his voice even but he couldn't hide the hurt and pain in his eyes.
"Please Tobias."
Without a sound the boy abruptly turned and left the holosuite. Jean-Luc had
no option but to follow. With hasty steps, Tobias led his father back to the
transporter room. He took his place on the pad and glared defiantly at the
perplexed man. Jean-Luc frowned and stepped closer to his son.
"You want to go back to the ship? But we're meeting Beverly for lunch."
The sneer that appeared on the lad's face angered the Captain, but he hid it
well, deciding to see if he could reason with the boy. In gentle French he
said,
"Tobias, Beverly will be disappointed if we go back to the ship. She's been
working all morning and will be looking forward to a rest. Why don't we go
and choose a restaurant, then we can go to the commerce centre so you can
select a present for your birthday?"
Tobias' defiant glare turned into a look of utter disgust and distain. He
let out a short snort and stepped of the transporter pad, coming to stand
before his father, his eyes lowered and his hands fisted at his sides.
With a mixture of anger and pain, Jean-Luc turned and left the room, his
reluctant son trailing behind him.
Two and a half hours later, and in the eighth shop,
Jean-Luc's patience was running out. Having dismissed the attendant, as he
had in the previous seven shops, Jean-Luc strove to keep his tone level.
"Do you see anything you like here Tobias? Perhaps this."
He picked up a model Starship only to be studiously ignored by the
disinterested boy. The Captain replaced the model and pushed his hands into
his pockets. He took a deep breath and managed to refrain from raising his
voice.
"If you would just tell me what you'd like.what your interests are. I would
really prefer to get you something you'd like."
With deliberate insolence Tobias slowly raised his eyes and glared at the
hapless man. His soft voice dripping with scorn he said in succinct French,
"Je ne veux rein de toi."
Hiding his shock at being spoken to with such hatred, Jean-Luc straightened
and folded his arms across his chest.
"You don't want anything from me? Very well."
He checked his personal chronometer and turned to the door.
"It's time to meet Beverly."
Dismay and pain warred within Jean-Luc. He strode to the restaurant, only
the sound of his son's footfalls letting him know that he was following
behind.
When Beverly found them ten minutes later she could feel the cold tension
thick in the air around them. She took her seat, earning a tight smile from
her lover and complete disdain from the boy. Lunch was terrible,
conversation non existent. On paying the bill, they returned to the
Enterprise, Tobias going immediately to his room, watching as the engineers
worked on his new bathroom.
Jean-Luc went to his desk and accessed his safe. After some moments he went
to the door, pausing as he turned to his lover.
"I'll be in my Ready Room."
He didn't wait for a reply. The doors whispered closed and Beverly swore
under her breath.
"****! Thank you very much Captain."
Silence descended in the quarters, Beverly glaring out the viewport.
Studiously ignoring the staff on the Bridge, Jean-Luc
stalked into his office, his face stony. Sitting at his desk, he opened his
fist and stared at the isolinear chip he'd held so tightly. Savagely pushing
it into his computer he muttered,
"All right Eve; let's see what you've got to say."
The image that appeared on the screen made him gasp softly and briefly close
his eyes. The woman that faced him was a parody of the vivacious officer he
knew, her sandy shoulder-length hair was almost non-existent and her soft
peach-like skin was ash grey and riven with sores. Red rimmed, hollow, dull
green eyes stared at him and the breath she took to begin rattled noisily in
her frail chest. Her voice was paper-thin and raspy.
"My dear Jean-Luc.by now you will have met our son."
She paused, taking another obviously painful breath, exposing her missing
teeth.
"I know it must have been a shock to you.and I'm sorry I never told you
about him."
She rested a moment before continuing,
"But he's with you now.where he belongs."
Tears welled in the stricken woman's eyes and she ignored them as they ran
down her pinched face.
"I knew how you felt about children.and how important your career was to
you."
She began to softly pant.
"He's a good boy Jean-Luc.gentle, clever.very brave.a lot like you really."
A hand appeared on the screen, wiping the poor woman's brow with a damp
cloth. Eve wearily raised a hand, brushing the cloth away.
"Jean-Luc.these last days have been hard.hard on both of us but mostly on
Tobias. He's hurting and I can't help him."
A cup with a straw appeared and she took a few sips.
"He needs help Jean-Luc.in a very short time I will be gone.leaving just
you.you must help him Jean-Luc.find it in yourself to be his father."
She was tiring fast but she took a deep painful breath and rallied.
"It'll be hard Jean-Luc.he won't want you.he'll try to shut everyone out.don't
let him. Find a way inside.find a way to reach him. I've told him a little
about you but he doesn't want to know. He won't admit to himself that I'm
dying."
She lowered her head, panting softly.
"I've made a chip for him too. When you think he's ready, give it to him."
She lifted her head and tried to smile, but her pain was too great.
"I'm so sorry Jean-Luc.I wish I could've seen him grow up."
The screen went blank and the Captain took a steadying breath, his heart
aching for his lost lover. He rose and went to the replicator, returning to
his desk with a hot cup of Earl Grey. He took his seat and sipped the
fragrant brew before reactivating his computer. As the image appeared, he
settled down to watch it again.
A little over three hours passed before the Captain returned
to his quarters. He found Beverly seated on the sofa reading. He glanced at
the closed doors to his son's rooms and sighed.
"Has he come out since I left?"
Beverly shook her head.
"Nope."
Jean-Luc went to his lover and sat, gently taking her hand.
"How are you?"
The Doctor's silence made him shift slightly. Keeping his deep voice soft,
he asked,
"Beverly?"
With an annoyed snort, Beverly rose to her feet and stood in front of the
viewport, her arms hugging herself. Jean-Luc frowned up at the red head and
shook his head.
"What? What's wrong?"
Beverly spun on her heel and speared the Captain with a withering glare.
"You want to know what's wrong?"
He nodded.
"Yes."
"Well mon Capitaine while you were resting alone in your inner sanctum, I
was left holding the bloody fort! What the hell would I have done if your
son had decided to grace me with his unpleasant company? Hmm?"
Jean-Luc came to his feet and shook his head.
"Beverly."
She raised a hand, halting him.
"Oh no you don't! You left without so much as a by-your-leave. What the hell
were you doing up there for three bloody hours anyway?"
The Captain took a deep breath and reached into his pocket.
"I was watching this."
He showed Beverly the chip and she snorted.
"What is it?"
"It's a message for me from Eve."
Suddenly deflated, all Beverly could say was,
"Oh."
Jean-Luc took her hand and coaxed her to the sofa where they both sat.
"Would you like to see it?"
Beverly's blue eyes searched Jean-Luc's hazel eyes and she smiled.
"You don't mind?"
He shook his head.
"Not at all."
She took the chip, turning it over with her fingers.
"How long is it?"
"Only a few minutes."
The Doctor frowned.
"But you were gone hours."
Jean-Luc smiled ruefully.
"Afterwards I went over the next mission and crew rotations."
Lightly punching his shoulder, Beverly gently admonished her lover.
"You're supposed to be on leave."
He shrugged.
"I know but after watching the chip I needed to immerse myself in ship's
business for a while. Do you understand?"
Beverly grinned and kissed him tenderly.
"Yep."
Jean-Luc turned his head and glanced over his shoulder at the closed door of
his son's rooms.
"While you watch the chip, I'll get Tobias ready for dinner."
Beverly sighed.
"Good luck."
As Beverly went to the desk, Jean-Luc rose and went to his son's door,
lightly knocking. When there was no reply, the Captain pressed the release
and entered to find his son sitting with Geordi on the bed. The Engineer was
showing him some schematics on a PADD.
"So you see if we don't give the wall enough support, it'll collapse."
Jean-Luc softly cleared his throat and the dark Engineer looked up, his
ocular implants glinting in the overhead light.
"Hello, Sir, I was just showing Tobias how we go about making new
accommodations."
The Captain smiled and bowed his head.
"Thank you Mr.LaForge but I've come in to ask Tobias to wash up for dinner."
He turned his attention to his son.
"Is your bathroom ready?"
The boy remained silent, staring at the floor. Geordi spoke for him.
"Not yet Captain but almost. By tomorrow lunchtime we should be finished."
Jean-Luc nodded his appreciation.
"Excellent Geordi, please pass on my sincere thanks to your staff."
Geordi rose and looked down at the sullen boy.
"Well I'll be going. See you tomorrow."
Jean-Luc held up a hand.
"If you don't mind Geordi, I would like to speak with you a moment. Tobias
you may wash your hands in my bathroom."
The silent lad left the room and Jean-Luc sighed.
"Geordi, tell me, did Tobias speak to you?"
The dark Engineer shook his head.
"No, Captain. I was going over the specs for the alterations and he came
over, showing some interest, so I sat with him and explained what the
schematics were about."
Jean-Luc nodded pensively.
"I see. Well thank you, Geordi, I appreciate you taking an interest in the
boy."
The Engineer grinned.
"No problem, Captain."
When Jean-Luc entered the living area Beverly was just shutting off the
computer. She glanced at their bedroom before going to her lover and taking
his hand, speaking softly.
"No wonder he's traumatised Jean-Luc. She was.oh God.she looked awful."
The Captain sighed.
"I know and that was recorded when she was still able to speak. Apparently
it got a lot worse after that."
Beverly nodded.
"Yes I've seen the reports. Did you know that Tobias insisted on staying
with his mother until the end? Despite her condition?"
Jean-Luc shook his head.
"No I didn't. Dear Lord that must have been horrible."
Tobias came out of the bedroom ending the conversation. While Beverly went
to the replicator, Jean-Luc went to his son.
"Would you help me set the table?"
Without acknowledging his father, Tobias went to stand behind Beverly and
waited until she was finished. Mutely biding his time, the boy waited until
his father joined him and requested the crockery and cutlery. Following his
father's lead, Tobias ferried the items to the table, not once looking at or
acknowledging the adults in any way. When they were ready each person took
their place. Shaking out her serviette, Beverly smiled at the lad and asked,
"How is your room coming along Tobias?"
Predictably, the lad ignored her. Undaunted, Beverly pressed on.
"When I moved in with your father I had to get the closet enlarged and make
him give me more space in the bathroom."
Jean-Luc chuckled and shook his head.
"I'm still learning that women, by an unwritten cosmic law, require more
closet and bathroom space than men."
The Doctor looked up at her lover and grinned.
"And I'm very grateful my love."
Before anything further could be said, Tobias abruptly stood and left the
table, stalking to his room in his customary silence. With a grimace
Jean-Luc balled his serviette and threw it on the table.
"Damn!"
Beverly sighed and rubbed her forehead.
"Forget it Jean-Luc, he just."
The Captain rose to his feet and glared at his son's closed door.
"No dammit I won't forget it Beverly. That was damn well rude."
Before Beverly could add anything, Jean-Luc strode to Tobias' room and
entered without knocking. The boy, sitting at his new desk, glared up at his
father defiantly. Keeping his voice firm but even, Jean-Luc said in French,
"You will return to the table and eat your dinner. I will not tolerate
rudeness."
In a show of insolent defiance, Tobias folded his arms across his chest and
lifted his chin in an unmistakable challenge.
To anybody who knew him, the Captain's suddenly soft voice and intense gaze
was indicative of clear anger. Fortunately Tobias was smart enough to see he
was treading on unfirm ground.
"Don't make me force you Tobias."
With one final glare the boy rose and brushed past his father, returning to
the table with stubborn silence.
The meal was eaten in an adversarial atmosphere. Jean-Luc was angry with his
son, Beverly was anxious about the situation and Tobias hated his world and
everything in it.
Luckily the boy had enough sense to stay and help with disposing the dishes.
Once the table was cleared he waited to be dismissed. Jean-Luc looked down
at his son with sorrow and regret. In a gentle voice he said,
"You may go to your room now or, if you like, you can stay out here with
Beverly and me."
Without any recognition the boy turned on his heel and left, his door
sighing closed behind him. Jean-Luc stood stiffly, his eyes closed. Beverly
went to him and took his hands, whispering,
"Go and sit down, I'll bring you some tea."
His eyes snapped open and he summoned a smile.
"Thank you mon coeur. I'll just be at my desk for a minute first."
When Beverly sat and put the hot drinks on the low table, she watched as her
lover spoke softly to the computer. As promised, he joined her after a few
minutes. He was carrying a PADD. The Doctor pointed to the device, her
eyebrows raised.
"What have you got there?"
"When I went into Tobias' room before, Geordi was showing him some specs
concerning the alterations. Geordi said he was interested. I've downloaded
some of the Enterprise's schematics onto this PADD.perhaps he might like to
see them."
Beverly smiled tenderly at the man and squeezed his hand.
"That's a wonderful idea, Jean-Luc."
The Captain stood and looked at the forbidding closed door.
"Wish me luck."
Author: Heather Smyth
Series: TNG
Part: 5/?
Rating: NC17
Code: P/C
Disclaimer and Summary...see part one.
*Dear readers, I will not be posting next Sunday. On Suday morning I will
board a plane to make a 20 hour flight to New York City to see Patrick
Stewart perform in Macbeth. My next post will be on Suday the 30th.
Breakfast next morning was uncomfortable. Despite Jean-Luc
and Beverly's attempts at bringing Tobias into their conversation, he
remained silent and sullen. The only good thing was that he appeared to have
no recollection of the previous night's interruption and the adults breathed
a collective sigh of relief.
With time on his hands, Jean-Luc decided to take his son back to the Star
base while Beverly opted to spend the morning updating her current research.
They agreed to meet later for lunch. The engineers arrived to start work on
Tobias' rooms, assuring Beverly they wouldn't bother her.
Deeply involved in the information on her computer, Beverly frowned when the
door chimed. Not wishing to be disturbed, she lifted her head and asked,
"Computer who is at the door?"
"Counsellor Deanna Troi."
With a warm smile, Beverly called softly,
"Come in."
Deanna entered and grinned at her best friend.
"Working?"
The Doctor shrugged.
"Sort of, I wanted to get some updates.I'm meeting the Captain and Tobias
later for lunch."
The Counsellor pointed to the replicator.
"Can you spare me ten minutes?"
Beverly smiled, nodding her agreement.
"Of course."
Casting a look at Tobias' room, Beverly was pleased to see the engineers
were working behind closed doors.
While Deanna secured two hot drinks, Beverly went to the sofa and sat,
stretching her long legs and placing her feet on the coffee table. When
Deanna joined her, the younger woman snickered.
"I bet you don't do that when the Captain's here."
The Doctor snorted.
"I do so!" Her face showing her outrage at the suggestion she should behave
a certain way for her lover. Then she relented and allowed a rueful grin.
"Well actually he does like me to take my shoes off first.but he never says
anything either way."
There was a comfortable silence while the women sipped their drinks. Deanna
set her mug down and flicked her hair off her shoulders.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Beverly frowned and feigned ignorance.
"About what?"
With a wave of her hand dismissing her friend's attempts at innocence,
Deanna scowled.
"You know damn well what. You and the Captain. Look I've known for some time
that your relationship with him had changed.I sensed it in both of
you.despite the efforts to shut me out. But Beverly you didn't even tell me
when you moved in with him. I had to find out by asking the computer for an
update on crew accommodations. I thought we were closer than that."
Beverly closed her eyes and sighed, rubbing her face with her hands. She
gathered her thoughts and lifted her head to face her friend.
"It was a mutual decision Dee. We were so.scared, no maybe not scared
exactly, but unsure certainly. Not about what we'd done, but about
ourselves. We're both very set in our ways and quite stubborn.we just needed
time, time to see how it fitted. This step we've taken is huge Dee and also
deliciously.exciting. When he asked me to move in with him I was shocked and
I wondered if he truly realised what he was asking, but, as usual, he
surprised me. He's proved he's adaptable Dee, although I know at times he's
fighting himself over the disruption to his life, but he's constantly
proving to me he loves me enough to overcome his habits and his hermit-like
existence to let me in, not only into his life, but into his heart."
Deanna nodded pensively and placed her hands between her knees,
straightening her arms.
"So not only did you desire privacy, you wanted time to settle in."
Beverly nodded.
"Uh huh. We always intended to tell you and Will, in fact all of the Command
staff, but.just for a little while.we wanted time to ourselves."
Deanna grinned and tilted her head.
"Fair enough. So tell me.how is it? What's he like to live with?"
Beverly sat back and rested her head on the cushions.
"Well.there were some rough edges to smooth out.but all in all it's very
comfortable. The thing is we're so happy in each other's company.we don't
need to chat or feel the need to amuse each other, in fact we sometimes sit
in complete silence for hours simply at ease with each other. We listen to
music or read, then there are other times when we'll have a lively debate
about something, but you know my very favourite part?"
Deanna's eyes sparkled as she shook her head, her curls dancing on her
shoulders.
Beverly sighed wistfully, her face becoming dreamy.
"Waking up with him. I've wanted to do that for so long."
Deanna gasped and poked her friend in the arm.
"You old tart! You never told me that! You said you'd wondered what he might
be like in bed but you never said anything about waking up with him."
Beverly snorted and flapped her hand.
"Oh really Dee.can you honestly say that I was considering a one night
stand? Come on.you know him as well as me. He isn't into casual affairs.if
he gives himself it's everything. It was never going to be anything but the
whole kit and caboodle."
Deanna sighed.
"That's so romantic."
The Doctor grinned.
"Tell me about it! I get flowers.little gifts, he's very attentive."
Deanna's expression turned lascivious.
"And the sex?"
Beverly feigned shock.
"Dee!"
The Counsellor scowled.
"Oh come off it Beverly.give!"
The Doctor grinned widely.
"Let me just say that our Captain has consummate abilities in many
things.including matters erotic and passionate."
"Oh my! Lucky you, although I'm not surprised. A man with so much passion
was always going to be good in bed, but does it take much to stir him?"
Beverly giggled.
"I think you'd be surprised at how little it takes."
Deanna's eyebrows rose.
"Really? I would've thought he'd be more.controlled.more reserved."
Beverly shrugged.
"I thought so too, but once we took that step.my God it was like letting
loose a cyclone. All that repressed sexual tension.wow!"
Deanna giggled and patted her friend's knee.
"Well I'm very happy for you both."
The two women shared a companionable grin before Deanna sighed and sobered.
"Tell me.what was your first night with Tobias like?"
Beverly immediately reddened and Deanna sensed her embarrassment.
"Beverly? What is it?"
The red head sighed and shook her head.
"Oh God Dee.Tobias walked in on us having sex."
Deanna's gasp made Beverly wince.
"Oh my God.what did the Captain do?"
Beverly shrugged.
"He reacted predictably I suppose. He was mortified of course.and angry, but
it wasn't as bad as it might have been. Tobias was sleepwalking. He didn't
see or hear anything."
"So what happened?"
"Jean-Luc put him back to bed."
Deanna stifled a giggle, earning a glare from her friend.
"How was breakfast this morning?"
Beverly sighed expansively.
"Brittle, but once we realised Tobias didn't remember anything about last
night the tension eased a bit. The thing is with his continued silent
routine it's so hard.Jean-Luc's trying.we both are, but it's like we're
beating our heads against a brick wall."
Deanna nodded her understanding.
"I know.give it time.and be patient. Eventually you'll break through."
Deanna stood and stretched.
"Well I'm off to meet Will. I'll come by after dinner tonight to see how you're
all getting on."
Beverly stood and smiled warmly at her friend.
"Okay, thanks Dee."
After the Counsellor left, Beverly sighed and looked over to her computer.
"Better get back to it."
Ten minutes later she was once again immersed.
Jean-Luc closed his eyes briefly and ran his hand
over his head. Silently counting to ten in six languages, he calmed himself
and tried again. Keeping his voice soft and his tone reasonable, he said in
French,
"Tobias if you don't tell me what you'd prefer I will have no option but to
choose the programme myself and I don't want to do that. I would like to try
something you'd like. Surely you're bored with my selections by now?"
The boy remained mute, staring fixedly at the floor. Jean-Luc raised his
head and glared at the ceiling, racking his brains for a solution to the
problem. Suddenly he had an epiphany.
"Ah! If I'm not mistaken you've got a birthday coming up. Why don't we go
back to the commerce centre and find you a suitable present?"
When the boy didn't move, Jean-Luc gently gripped his shoulder. Tobias
wrenched free from the Captain's grasp and glared at his father. Jean-Luc
kept his voice even but he couldn't hide the hurt and pain in his eyes.
"Please Tobias."
Without a sound the boy abruptly turned and left the holosuite. Jean-Luc had
no option but to follow. With hasty steps, Tobias led his father back to the
transporter room. He took his place on the pad and glared defiantly at the
perplexed man. Jean-Luc frowned and stepped closer to his son.
"You want to go back to the ship? But we're meeting Beverly for lunch."
The sneer that appeared on the lad's face angered the Captain, but he hid it
well, deciding to see if he could reason with the boy. In gentle French he
said,
"Tobias, Beverly will be disappointed if we go back to the ship. She's been
working all morning and will be looking forward to a rest. Why don't we go
and choose a restaurant, then we can go to the commerce centre so you can
select a present for your birthday?"
Tobias' defiant glare turned into a look of utter disgust and distain. He
let out a short snort and stepped of the transporter pad, coming to stand
before his father, his eyes lowered and his hands fisted at his sides.
With a mixture of anger and pain, Jean-Luc turned and left the room, his
reluctant son trailing behind him.
Two and a half hours later, and in the eighth shop,
Jean-Luc's patience was running out. Having dismissed the attendant, as he
had in the previous seven shops, Jean-Luc strove to keep his tone level.
"Do you see anything you like here Tobias? Perhaps this."
He picked up a model Starship only to be studiously ignored by the
disinterested boy. The Captain replaced the model and pushed his hands into
his pockets. He took a deep breath and managed to refrain from raising his
voice.
"If you would just tell me what you'd like.what your interests are. I would
really prefer to get you something you'd like."
With deliberate insolence Tobias slowly raised his eyes and glared at the
hapless man. His soft voice dripping with scorn he said in succinct French,
"Je ne veux rein de toi."
Hiding his shock at being spoken to with such hatred, Jean-Luc straightened
and folded his arms across his chest.
"You don't want anything from me? Very well."
He checked his personal chronometer and turned to the door.
"It's time to meet Beverly."
Dismay and pain warred within Jean-Luc. He strode to the restaurant, only
the sound of his son's footfalls letting him know that he was following
behind.
When Beverly found them ten minutes later she could feel the cold tension
thick in the air around them. She took her seat, earning a tight smile from
her lover and complete disdain from the boy. Lunch was terrible,
conversation non existent. On paying the bill, they returned to the
Enterprise, Tobias going immediately to his room, watching as the engineers
worked on his new bathroom.
Jean-Luc went to his desk and accessed his safe. After some moments he went
to the door, pausing as he turned to his lover.
"I'll be in my Ready Room."
He didn't wait for a reply. The doors whispered closed and Beverly swore
under her breath.
"****! Thank you very much Captain."
Silence descended in the quarters, Beverly glaring out the viewport.
Studiously ignoring the staff on the Bridge, Jean-Luc
stalked into his office, his face stony. Sitting at his desk, he opened his
fist and stared at the isolinear chip he'd held so tightly. Savagely pushing
it into his computer he muttered,
"All right Eve; let's see what you've got to say."
The image that appeared on the screen made him gasp softly and briefly close
his eyes. The woman that faced him was a parody of the vivacious officer he
knew, her sandy shoulder-length hair was almost non-existent and her soft
peach-like skin was ash grey and riven with sores. Red rimmed, hollow, dull
green eyes stared at him and the breath she took to begin rattled noisily in
her frail chest. Her voice was paper-thin and raspy.
"My dear Jean-Luc.by now you will have met our son."
She paused, taking another obviously painful breath, exposing her missing
teeth.
"I know it must have been a shock to you.and I'm sorry I never told you
about him."
She rested a moment before continuing,
"But he's with you now.where he belongs."
Tears welled in the stricken woman's eyes and she ignored them as they ran
down her pinched face.
"I knew how you felt about children.and how important your career was to
you."
She began to softly pant.
"He's a good boy Jean-Luc.gentle, clever.very brave.a lot like you really."
A hand appeared on the screen, wiping the poor woman's brow with a damp
cloth. Eve wearily raised a hand, brushing the cloth away.
"Jean-Luc.these last days have been hard.hard on both of us but mostly on
Tobias. He's hurting and I can't help him."
A cup with a straw appeared and she took a few sips.
"He needs help Jean-Luc.in a very short time I will be gone.leaving just
you.you must help him Jean-Luc.find it in yourself to be his father."
She was tiring fast but she took a deep painful breath and rallied.
"It'll be hard Jean-Luc.he won't want you.he'll try to shut everyone out.don't
let him. Find a way inside.find a way to reach him. I've told him a little
about you but he doesn't want to know. He won't admit to himself that I'm
dying."
She lowered her head, panting softly.
"I've made a chip for him too. When you think he's ready, give it to him."
She lifted her head and tried to smile, but her pain was too great.
"I'm so sorry Jean-Luc.I wish I could've seen him grow up."
The screen went blank and the Captain took a steadying breath, his heart
aching for his lost lover. He rose and went to the replicator, returning to
his desk with a hot cup of Earl Grey. He took his seat and sipped the
fragrant brew before reactivating his computer. As the image appeared, he
settled down to watch it again.
A little over three hours passed before the Captain returned
to his quarters. He found Beverly seated on the sofa reading. He glanced at
the closed doors to his son's rooms and sighed.
"Has he come out since I left?"
Beverly shook her head.
"Nope."
Jean-Luc went to his lover and sat, gently taking her hand.
"How are you?"
The Doctor's silence made him shift slightly. Keeping his deep voice soft,
he asked,
"Beverly?"
With an annoyed snort, Beverly rose to her feet and stood in front of the
viewport, her arms hugging herself. Jean-Luc frowned up at the red head and
shook his head.
"What? What's wrong?"
Beverly spun on her heel and speared the Captain with a withering glare.
"You want to know what's wrong?"
He nodded.
"Yes."
"Well mon Capitaine while you were resting alone in your inner sanctum, I
was left holding the bloody fort! What the hell would I have done if your
son had decided to grace me with his unpleasant company? Hmm?"
Jean-Luc came to his feet and shook his head.
"Beverly."
She raised a hand, halting him.
"Oh no you don't! You left without so much as a by-your-leave. What the hell
were you doing up there for three bloody hours anyway?"
The Captain took a deep breath and reached into his pocket.
"I was watching this."
He showed Beverly the chip and she snorted.
"What is it?"
"It's a message for me from Eve."
Suddenly deflated, all Beverly could say was,
"Oh."
Jean-Luc took her hand and coaxed her to the sofa where they both sat.
"Would you like to see it?"
Beverly's blue eyes searched Jean-Luc's hazel eyes and she smiled.
"You don't mind?"
He shook his head.
"Not at all."
She took the chip, turning it over with her fingers.
"How long is it?"
"Only a few minutes."
The Doctor frowned.
"But you were gone hours."
Jean-Luc smiled ruefully.
"Afterwards I went over the next mission and crew rotations."
Lightly punching his shoulder, Beverly gently admonished her lover.
"You're supposed to be on leave."
He shrugged.
"I know but after watching the chip I needed to immerse myself in ship's
business for a while. Do you understand?"
Beverly grinned and kissed him tenderly.
"Yep."
Jean-Luc turned his head and glanced over his shoulder at the closed door of
his son's rooms.
"While you watch the chip, I'll get Tobias ready for dinner."
Beverly sighed.
"Good luck."
As Beverly went to the desk, Jean-Luc rose and went to his son's door,
lightly knocking. When there was no reply, the Captain pressed the release
and entered to find his son sitting with Geordi on the bed. The Engineer was
showing him some schematics on a PADD.
"So you see if we don't give the wall enough support, it'll collapse."
Jean-Luc softly cleared his throat and the dark Engineer looked up, his
ocular implants glinting in the overhead light.
"Hello, Sir, I was just showing Tobias how we go about making new
accommodations."
The Captain smiled and bowed his head.
"Thank you Mr.LaForge but I've come in to ask Tobias to wash up for dinner."
He turned his attention to his son.
"Is your bathroom ready?"
The boy remained silent, staring at the floor. Geordi spoke for him.
"Not yet Captain but almost. By tomorrow lunchtime we should be finished."
Jean-Luc nodded his appreciation.
"Excellent Geordi, please pass on my sincere thanks to your staff."
Geordi rose and looked down at the sullen boy.
"Well I'll be going. See you tomorrow."
Jean-Luc held up a hand.
"If you don't mind Geordi, I would like to speak with you a moment. Tobias
you may wash your hands in my bathroom."
The silent lad left the room and Jean-Luc sighed.
"Geordi, tell me, did Tobias speak to you?"
The dark Engineer shook his head.
"No, Captain. I was going over the specs for the alterations and he came
over, showing some interest, so I sat with him and explained what the
schematics were about."
Jean-Luc nodded pensively.
"I see. Well thank you, Geordi, I appreciate you taking an interest in the
boy."
The Engineer grinned.
"No problem, Captain."
When Jean-Luc entered the living area Beverly was just shutting off the
computer. She glanced at their bedroom before going to her lover and taking
his hand, speaking softly.
"No wonder he's traumatised Jean-Luc. She was.oh God.she looked awful."
The Captain sighed.
"I know and that was recorded when she was still able to speak. Apparently
it got a lot worse after that."
Beverly nodded.
"Yes I've seen the reports. Did you know that Tobias insisted on staying
with his mother until the end? Despite her condition?"
Jean-Luc shook his head.
"No I didn't. Dear Lord that must have been horrible."
Tobias came out of the bedroom ending the conversation. While Beverly went
to the replicator, Jean-Luc went to his son.
"Would you help me set the table?"
Without acknowledging his father, Tobias went to stand behind Beverly and
waited until she was finished. Mutely biding his time, the boy waited until
his father joined him and requested the crockery and cutlery. Following his
father's lead, Tobias ferried the items to the table, not once looking at or
acknowledging the adults in any way. When they were ready each person took
their place. Shaking out her serviette, Beverly smiled at the lad and asked,
"How is your room coming along Tobias?"
Predictably, the lad ignored her. Undaunted, Beverly pressed on.
"When I moved in with your father I had to get the closet enlarged and make
him give me more space in the bathroom."
Jean-Luc chuckled and shook his head.
"I'm still learning that women, by an unwritten cosmic law, require more
closet and bathroom space than men."
The Doctor looked up at her lover and grinned.
"And I'm very grateful my love."
Before anything further could be said, Tobias abruptly stood and left the
table, stalking to his room in his customary silence. With a grimace
Jean-Luc balled his serviette and threw it on the table.
"Damn!"
Beverly sighed and rubbed her forehead.
"Forget it Jean-Luc, he just."
The Captain rose to his feet and glared at his son's closed door.
"No dammit I won't forget it Beverly. That was damn well rude."
Before Beverly could add anything, Jean-Luc strode to Tobias' room and
entered without knocking. The boy, sitting at his new desk, glared up at his
father defiantly. Keeping his voice firm but even, Jean-Luc said in French,
"You will return to the table and eat your dinner. I will not tolerate
rudeness."
In a show of insolent defiance, Tobias folded his arms across his chest and
lifted his chin in an unmistakable challenge.
To anybody who knew him, the Captain's suddenly soft voice and intense gaze
was indicative of clear anger. Fortunately Tobias was smart enough to see he
was treading on unfirm ground.
"Don't make me force you Tobias."
With one final glare the boy rose and brushed past his father, returning to
the table with stubborn silence.
The meal was eaten in an adversarial atmosphere. Jean-Luc was angry with his
son, Beverly was anxious about the situation and Tobias hated his world and
everything in it.
Luckily the boy had enough sense to stay and help with disposing the dishes.
Once the table was cleared he waited to be dismissed. Jean-Luc looked down
at his son with sorrow and regret. In a gentle voice he said,
"You may go to your room now or, if you like, you can stay out here with
Beverly and me."
Without any recognition the boy turned on his heel and left, his door
sighing closed behind him. Jean-Luc stood stiffly, his eyes closed. Beverly
went to him and took his hands, whispering,
"Go and sit down, I'll bring you some tea."
His eyes snapped open and he summoned a smile.
"Thank you mon coeur. I'll just be at my desk for a minute first."
When Beverly sat and put the hot drinks on the low table, she watched as her
lover spoke softly to the computer. As promised, he joined her after a few
minutes. He was carrying a PADD. The Doctor pointed to the device, her
eyebrows raised.
"What have you got there?"
"When I went into Tobias' room before, Geordi was showing him some specs
concerning the alterations. Geordi said he was interested. I've downloaded
some of the Enterprise's schematics onto this PADD.perhaps he might like to
see them."
Beverly smiled tenderly at the man and squeezed his hand.
"That's a wonderful idea, Jean-Luc."
The Captain stood and looked at the forbidding closed door.
"Wish me luck."